ACTION BOYS WERE TAKING A WALK ON THE 4TH OF JULY
WHEN THEY NOTICED A RED, WHITE AND BLUE RAINBOW ARCING THROUGH THE SKY
SO THEY FOLLOWED THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH INTO THE ENCHANTED WOOD
WHERE UNDER A CANOPY OF FLAGS THE PROUD LEPRASKIN STOOD

"OI! YOU FOUND ME SECRET HIDEOUT, BUT I'M NO FOOL,
IF YOU WANT TO KEEP THIS GOLD, YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW ONE RULE:

YE' BURN ME FLAG... I STEAL YE' GOLD! (x2)
YOU ONLY GET ONE CHANCE BOY, SO DO AS YOU'RE TOLD...
YE' BURN ME FLAG, I TAKE BACK ME GOLD!

AND HE DISAPPEARED IN A PUFF OF SMOKE, AND WHERE THE LEPRASKIN USED TO BE
NOW STOOD A BROKEN CHAIR AND A SMASHED IN OLD T.V.
WE WENT HOME TO CELEBRATE OUR NEW FOUND WEALTH OVER A HOME COOKED DINNER
"NO, BONO PORTO! THOSE POTATOS ARE SUPPOSED TO SIMMER!!"

I REACHED FOR THE NEAREST WASHCLOTH TO MOVE THE POTATOS FROM THE FLAME
BUT BEFORE THE FLAG-LIKE CLOTH COULD TOUCH THEM I HEARD THE LEPRASKIN EXCLAIM: (CHORUS)

"I'VE BEEN WAITING FOREVER FOR THE CLASSWAR, IF I'M GOING I WANT TO BE SEEN"
SO HE BOUGHT HIS TICKET ON E-BAY AND RENTED A LIMOSINE
THE REST OF THE ACTION BOYS STAYED AT HOME AND WATCHED IT ON PAY-PER-VIEW
AND STARED IN HORROR AS JOSH LIT UP A FLAG, YELLING "LOOK I'M ONE OF YOU!"

"HA HA HA, YE' STUPID ASS!" THE LEPRASKIN SCREAMED WITH GLEE,
"YOU BURNED ME FLAG AND BROKE THE RULE, THAT GOLD BELONGS TO ME! CAUSE... (CHORUS)